This is the second entry into a new addition to the blog, called Stanzas, in which I'll be sharing some of the poetry and lyrics I've written over the years, along with the stories of what inspired them.

 

I Carry On

I drive these same roads

Back and forth every single day.

I could close my eyes

And still be able to find my way.

I know the scent of coming rain

And how the currents sway

So why

Does this not feel like home?

 

This is the house

I have lived in for so many years.

This is the pillow 

On which I have cried a thousand tears

Lying on the bed

That's kept me safe from all my fears

So why

Does this not feel like home?

 

Home

Is a place in my mind

I've yet to find for real.

Home

Is somewhere far beyond

This loneliness I feel.

Since I can't seem to find it

Lost among the days long gone,

For now I carry on.

 

This is my private room

Where I could hide and just be me,

Inside these four white walls

Where I lost my virginity.

This is the closet

In which I hid the darkest part of me

So why

Does this not feel like home?

 

This is my body

Feeling all the pain and passion deep within.

My heart is used to keeping

All the secrets crawling through my skin

And the visions

Torn between the pleasure and the threat of sin

So why

Does this not feel like home?

 

This is the simple question

I'm searching for the answer to.

I'm holding on to hope

Since there's nothing else to hold on to

On the chance that someday

Maybe my dreams will all come true

And I'll find

A place that feels like home.

 

Home

Is a place in my mind

I've yet to find for real.

Home

Is someplace far beyond

This loneliness I feel.

Since I can't seem to find it

Lost among the days long gone,

For now I carry on.

 

I wrote this in 2002, when I was 22. It was the last thing I wrote before moving out of my childhood home and venturing off into the scary world of adulthood. I guess it's my goodbye to that era of my life and a sort of prelude to the next chapter. It's interesting to read this one all these years later. I'm still carrying on…