Stanzas 2: I Carry On

Stanzas 2: I Carry On

This is the second entry into a new addition to the blog, called Stanzas, in which I'll be sharing some of the poetry and lyrics I've written over the years, along with the stories of what inspired them.
 
I Carry On
I drive these same roads
Back and forth every single day.
I could close my eyes
And still be able to find my way.
I know the scent of coming rain
And how the currents sway
So why
Does this not feel like home?
 
This is the house
I have lived in for so many years.
This is the pillow 
On which I have cried a thousand tears
Lying on the bed
That's kept me safe from all my fears
So why
Does this not feel like home?
 
Home
Is a place in my mind
I've yet to find for real.
Home
Is somewhere far beyond
This loneliness I feel.
Since I can't seem to find it
Lost among the days long gone,
For now I carry on.
 
This is my private room
Where I could hide and just be me,
Inside these four white walls
Where I lost my virginity.
This is the closet
In which I hid the darkest part of me
So why
Does this not feel like home?
 
This is my body
Feeling all the pain and passion deep within.
My heart is used to keeping
All the secrets crawling through my skin
And the visions
Torn between the pleasure and the threat of sin
So why
Does this not feel like home?
 
This is the simple question
I'm searching for the answer to.
I'm holding on to hope
Since there's nothing else to hold on to
On the chance that someday
Maybe my dreams will all come true
And I'll find
A place that feels like home.
 
Home
Is a place in my mind
I've yet to find for real.
Home
Is someplace far beyond
This loneliness I feel.
Since I can't seem to find it
Lost among the days long gone,
For now I carry on.
 
I wrote this in 2002, when I was 22. It was the last thing I wrote before moving out of my childhood home and venturing off into the scary world of adulthood. I guess it's my goodbye to that era of my life and a sort of prelude to the next chapter. It's interesting to read this one all these years later. I'm still carrying on… 

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